If you're anything like me, you will have scoured the bowels of the World Wide Web and turned it into your second home. You'll have encountered the dreaded 4Chan and learned to love it. You know how to use Google and Wikipedia; weeding out false info is easy with all the tips and tricks you've learned without the help of Facebook friends sharing useful links on their walls. If you're from this lovely country, you might have even learned /been taught how to pirate popular media instead of hopping on over to Greenhills to get your NDS/PSP games downloaded into your favorite handheld devices! But of course, the Internet isn't just a scary pit of viruses, porn, and Comic Sans sites. It's home to the most beautiful things ever created: Food Blogs and Food Porn.
Am I becoming more cultured? Is that why I'm paying more attention to food? Or is it because digital cameras and all these swanky new DSLRs are making it easier for people to share the lovely concoctions they discover or even cook themselves? While I have extremely high regard for Food Stylists, technology has made it easy-as-pie to make a pie look like more than just a pie. Food bloggers need not hire a photographer to shoot their meals. They can make lugaw look like fancy-ass foreign porridge with a little Instagram magic and Photoshop! Hell, my own sister is a food blogger and a good photographer, but she uses Instagram as much as my own photographer father does. But, I digress, this is not what this post is about.
|Photo courtesy Google|
I'd like to go back to talking about the Internet and food. If you're a carnivore like myself, you should love bacon. I'm not talking about imitation bacons like turkey bacon, I mean crunchy-ass pork bacon. And if you live on the net, you may have started to associate this wonderful meat product to the macho men and beautiful babes that comprise the crew of the hit Youtube sensation:
|This is just one of the many food styling tricks out there!|
|Thank you to DJ who introduced me to this beauty.|
They may disgust a lot of people out there with all the booze, grease, and vulgarities that riddle their videos, but they've made me feel things I've never felt before (mostly insatiable hunger). If I wasn't aware of the health and cosmetic risks, I'd eat their food for the rest of my life. I'm a picky eater who can't stand seeing, tasting, or feeling vegetables in my mouth. Sure, I'm learning how to deal with garlic, onions, and some leafy greens like spinach, but it's not always pleasant; not a big fan of how veggies smell (I don't like fish either). It's gross, but I love the smell of meat getting deep-fried, grilled, or sizzling on a plate. I apologize to all the vegans and vegetarians for my brutishness, but pork, beef, and chicken are some of the things I cannot and will not live without.
But still, I digress. This entry was written not to talk about the food blogging trend or the greatness of Epic Meal Time, but to rave about the beautiful and not-safe-for-vegans food establishment that is Zark's Burgers. Ever since I saw what you could do with all that bacon and meat product, I've been wanting to try making something ala Epic Meal Time, but that looked messy, time-consuming, and expensive. Luckily, I had stumbled upon a picture of a huge burger comprised of thick beef patties and strips upon strips of bacon--this looked far too unhealthy to be Burger King; what was it? After finding Zark's page on Facebook, I was determined to make my way there and try out this rumored deep-fried, bacon-wrapped burger and this is, well, the story.
|Ick, lettuce water /shudder|
After coming from DLS-CSB to help Daryl with his enrollment, we headed on over to the building across DLSU where Zark's Burgers was located. It was nothing particularly fancy; just a regular burger joint which seemed to attract a lot of hungry boys; action movies played on the TV that hung above a few tables in the far corner of the room, pictures of big guys who've successfully completed the Jawbreaker challenge, if it wasn't for a pair of girls who had used Zark's as a meeting place, it would've been quite a sausagefest (let's not forget the helpful ates who served us as well).
If it wasn't for the lettuce and possible tomatoes that lurked underneath the meaty goodness of the Jawbreaker, I would've ordered that in an attempt to beat the challenge, but no. I will conquer that mountain another day. I had other things planned, after all! I scoured the menu, growing hungrier and hungrier as I read about the different burgers and meals that were available, but where was that deep-fried burger? I don't have a picture of it, but on a small chalkboard next to the counter, I found what I wanted:
|Having a little fun with my Pudding Camera app since Instagram's a bitch.|
|Only 220 PhP, complete with Iced Tea and muy delicioso french fries!|
OH MY GOD IT WAS SO GOOD.
SO HUGE TOO.
The bacon gave the entire burger a nice, salty crunch on the outside, while the soft buns and tender beef practically melted in my mouth. You see that sauce on the side? That's a BBQ Rum sauce, guys. I don't like BBQ sauce, but oh man, that sauce. OH MAN, THAT SAUCE. I've been told that I'm not very good at telling stories, but in all honesty, there is no way to describe this Nirvana-esque moment in words. Daryl will probably say otherwise since he loves his salads, but I am a carnivore and I felt like I had found my "body of Christ". Reuniting with the Lord and all that, herpderp. Not that being a Carnivore is a religion or anything.
I haven't got the skill to write about this burger like a professional food blogger, but I hope my above reactions will suffice. UGH, I LOVE MEAT. Anyhoo, if you're getting tired of my meat spazzing, up next is Daryl's slightly less unhealthy burger, the Black Mamba.
|I mean no offense to the Catholic church.|
|Looked good! Pity it had veggies.|
|The burger looked quite big in his large hands!|
Don't let my silly (blasphemous) photos lead you away from the majesty that is Zark's Burgers. The prices are similar to Brother's Burgers and Burger King but the experience is something else. The ates were actually very nice! They helped us order wisely and saved us the hassle of spending more for less-- they served with a smile as well. The fries were a little bland, but they tasted quite good when fresh. Uhh, what else is there to say? Perhaps it's a hassle to get to Zark's because the only two branches in existence are in Taft and in Paranaque, but I'd say it's definitely worth the trip. While the commute may starve you, it's hard to believe that anyone can exit this store feeling less than full.
The only reason I regretted eating at Zark's was because I had hardly any room left for the food at Momo's despedida. Sorry Mo! Maybe when you come back I'll take you to Taft to pig out heehee~ Perhaps when Celine sends me the pictures from the party I'll write about it in more detail, but for now, have a silly camera phone picture of yours truly dicking around in the bathroom.
|My hair is actually chin-length now!|
GOOD NIGHT, TEYHEY